No, your eyes are not deceiving you and yes, you read that correctly. The list of unnecessary video game adaptations is about to get just a wee bit longer with Tetris: The Movie (not an official title).
Threshold CEO Larry Kasanoff broke the news in an interview with the Wall Street Journal, calling the upcoming film “a very big sci-fi epic.”
I don’t know about you, but when I think of Tetris, that addictive puzzle game that came packaged with my Game Boy way back when, the words “sci-fi epic” don’t really come to mind.
This news is coming just months after Warner Brothers announced they would be adapting Space Invaders–another plotless classic video game–into a film.
The difference here, though, is that Space Invaders has a notable villain: aliens. Even Battleship, another game-turned-movie, had a distinctive setting where a plot could be developed.
Tetris, on the other hand, doesn’t have a setting. Unless, that is, you count the Russian backdrop from the title screen. And the closest thing Tetris has to a villain would be blocks dropping from the sky.
I’m going to take a wild guess here. Tetris: The Movie (again, not the official title) is going to feature the Earth being attacked by geometric shapes.
But who is dropping these giant bricks? Kasanoff did say that this was going to be a sci-fi film, so I’ve got $10 on aliens.
Here’s another crackpot theory: maybe these bricks are pieces of a damaged asteroid and/or planet. Yes, this is a stupid idea. The alien theory is stupid as well. Hell, the whole concept of a Tetris movie is stupid. Just stupid.
I usually like to give crazy movie ideas the benefit of doubt, but this one is going to be a stretch for me.
Kasanoff hasn’t revealed any cast or crew information, nor has he provided a tentative release date.